Florida Man strikes again!

For a state with such an awesome governor, there are some crazy people down in Florida. So crazy, in fact, that one Florida man stole a truck and attempted to enter Patrick Space Force Base in Florida. Why was this crazy? Couldn’t he have just been another criminal? Sure, but then your everyday crook attempting to gain access to a military base wouldn’t be shouting about little green men and fire-breathing mythical creatures, would he?

But that’s exactly what Military.com reports Corey Johnson did. According to the outlet, “Johnson reportedly explained to authorities ‘he was told by the president’ to warn ‘the government there was US aliens fighting with Chinese dragons.'” So, he stole an F-150 days before and drove it to the base where he was quickly apprehended and charged with grand theft auto.

Now, a few things.

First: Are we certain the president didn’t instruct this man to do this very thing? I mean, it is Joe Biden we’re talking about here. That guy isn’t exactly all there. I wouldn’t be surprised if the guy is telling the truth, and that would simply make him an idiot for believing a single word that escapes Biden’s incoherent face hole.

However, if he didn’t actually receive orders from the president–which, again, I wouldn’t be surprised–exactly how much of Hunter Biden’s crack do you think this guy smoked?

OR–and wouldn’t this be a twist!–what if he smoked a bunch of crack with Hunter AND THEN ol’ Joe issued him his orders?!

Frankly, I think we need a congressional investigation to get to the bottom of this. I demand real answers! The American people demand answers! We must know if Biden is aware of aliens fighting on behalf of America and if he has evidence of Chinese dragons attacking us!

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FLORIDA MAN Asks Cops to Test His METH! | Louder With Crowder

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